Bittertea

10 km. ..... half way

2009-06-07T21:59:00.002+08:00

I managed to get through to 10 km in a little more than an hour today ..

was good progress as I just started to push myself a week ago but its really tough.... My heart is able to acclimatise but the problem is the knees and thigh muscles .. takes 2 days at least to recover when i hit new distance ...

Hope fully I'll be able to hit 14 km by the end of this week and 18 km the end of next . After that i'll have to let altitude at Mount KK to take care of the rest.

I really respect those who can make it for 42 km full marathon. It doesnt matter how long you take to finish that.. even if you can walk for that far I take my hats off for ya.

.. I might have to crawl the last few KM of the 21 and hope i Finish within 3 hrs ...

Damn....

12 April 2009 - KKB and Kinabalu

2009-04-12T18:53:00.002+08:00

Went for the 2nd round of my Kuala Kubu Bharu water rafting trip few weeks back. It was quite a fast one with just less than 3 weeks of asking around and getting people. Managed around 10 people this time which was a nice number for a good 2 raft. Just the right number.

I've went to Kuala Kubu Bharu last October and the water levels were low. It was fun still. However this time the water levels were awesome. For those who didn't go for it this time, they've all just missed one hell of a ride. The 1st Canyon and 3rd Canyons became so much more different from the last time I went. Has can attest to this too as she was with the group that went in October '08. One word sums it all up. Awesome. This trip made me sign up mentally straight away for Sg. Singor when the next one comes around - it was unfortunate that the May '09 trip to singor was full. End of the year will be water rafting and camping at NEPAL if Rizal manages to get it going in September or October. I've practically signed up verbally for it.

Anyway although i didnt get to go Sg. Singor this year, I've managed to sign up for Mount Kinabalu this June. All thanks and hats off to RJ for letting me in on his group due to a pull-out.
Hope I'm lucky and the weather would be a good one for a climb all the way up to the top. Now I just have to scavenge and borrow for winter clothing. Anyone can spare please let me know :)
Just paid for the flight tickets to KK and now the only thing left is to submit my leave applications on Monday.

16 March 2009

2009-03-16T20:52:00.002+08:00

I feel quite comfortable knowing that no one comes to my blog to read. I can write calmer in this way maybe though I feel that I do not have much to share anyway.

I believe that what they say is true. The more you earn the more wants that you think you need and the more what your drawing down every month does not seem enough..

I've more or less decided that Bangkok would be the place I would like to visit this year though I have yet to make any plans to book any tickets or accomodation. I think that since I'm going to be going alone I can just hop on the next plane out of there the month itself that I would be having my compulsory week-long leave , though it might be a bit expensive to do that. But anyway it should be ok. I shouldn't start to plan until someone tells me they aren't following anyway. So i'll just wait for a while and do some researching for the moment.

I need a camera and a travel bag. I am not sure if I should buy them or just borrow them from people as this isn't like the start of a for-certain-more-to-come-adventurous-future for me. Though I hope it would, sometimes it isnt wise to spend too much preparing for a hobby that is expensive. I still have quite some nagging problems that I can only settle by July, thats eating a bit on my money, but my situation is definitely better than the past 1 and a half years.

I'm quite eager for this month end's trip to KKB to happen soon. I look forward to experiencing the place with higher water levels. My first time there was nice but nothing spectacular cos the levels were quite low due to sudden dry weather. Finger's crossed that this time would be better.

I still remember a someone who told me before that blogging is kind of stupid, telling ppl how you feel and all. But I think its quite therapeutic to do this, and its harmless. You don't eat up people's time and people who read tend to listen. The downside is of course, you don't get to choose your listeners. But mine is ok. Its deserted enough for me to feel very comfortable.

7th March 2009

2009-03-07T13:47:00.002+08:00

Its 2009 March already.. a quarter of the year. So damn fast..

Work has been going fine at the moment and I've been quite lucky. Just wondering how long the luck would last.

The past 3 months have been quite a difficult time with many things to think about. Outside of work life has just been.. stagnant .. maybe to the point of going backwards a bit.

I guess sometimes when i look around .. the people who know me the most and understand me turns out to be those who i know relatively most recently. I cant help but have the feeling that only a handful of those who I've know since school days actually understand me...

Maybe I changed.. or maybe I didn't change and became stagnant. Or maybe everybody just has their own worries and problems and we just shut ourselves off from trying to know people. Just trying to find someone to release all our problems into and just hope they would listen and we dont have to listen back.

Or maybe I am just quite such a boring person that out of work I don't have anything to look forward to - no outings, no activities, no trips - just simply because I cant find anyone to agree to do anything with.

I sometimes try too hard to help people's lives (non-family) who I feel that I care about - maybe they just don't need it or don't want it. Maybe I'm just trying too hard about it. In the end maybe what someone said was true, that it can only hurt myself.

I guess life is to be lived for myself at the moment. I'm gonna just try to live for myself until someone wants to live for me I guess. I'm just so very tired. I just want to live for myself now that I have some small means for doing so.

I realize more and more that its just not worth it to be nice to people who take you for granted when you are nice to them. Its just ironic that the majority of your friends, the people who value your friendship the most, are the ones that you get to know so recently. Or maybe my life is just that sad and the problem is with me and not others. I don't know. I just want to live and breath for myself now.

Gonna register for the wall climbing package I've always said I would do... Gonna get my passport made and pick a place to back pack alone, to hell with whether anyone is interested in following or not. My life is not to be wasted to wallow at loneliness.

I take solace in knowing that I still have people who know who I am and how I am other than just my name, where i come from and superficial things. I take solace in knowing that they know the kind of person I really am and cherish what we do and how we understand each other and how our every conversation and outing makes us understand and share each other's problems and joys and success and failures better. To the people who know me like that and in which I am priviledged to know them for their stories, I feel it is the most satisfying of all.

Its the feeling of being true.

6th July 2008 ... one year absence

2008-07-06T10:38:00.002+08:00

Hi... I dont think anyone comes here anymore :P. Last time was i think when RJ and Has stumbled to this place through God knows wut links and read my blog. Among my frens from tcb i think both of them are the only ones to have read this blog and posts haha..

My last post was more than a year ago i think (didnt really go and check the date la ok? hit me haha) so today on a Sunday morning which I have nothing nothing to do and feeling a bit GNF ( I think you buggers, especially u Lemak would know wat it means) I decided to revisit this place and clean it up...

I deleted all my ignorant, immature, stupid, idiotic blue-balled comments on topics such as politics,etc and just left those that are about my own thoughts on life and funny things. Who gives a shit what i write on "mature" topics anyway :P. You can get most of it on newspapers and other better written political and economic blogs also.

I dont know if I will continue to write. Dont think so also la unless i got some funny story to share.. but no one comes here anyways adi also i think. ...

I re-read some of my posts though and I seriously couldnt believe it was me writing those things ... and most of the time at 3 to 5 am in the morning afte Mahjong haha (I FUCKING MISS MAHJONG!!!)

The iPhone.. @ Macworld

2007-03-08T10:03:00.000+08:00

The line was very stable around 5 in the morning so I decided to stream some videos to watch and I thought I would go look for some trailers at Apple.com. But instead i stumbled upon Steve Job's keynote address earlier this year at Macworld and proceeded to stream it.

and my God was the presentation exciting.... it made me want to own an iPhone instantly, though i dont think i would be able to afford one and also because it wont reach Asia until 2008, by which millions would have already owned one.

My limited intelligence noticed 2 very obvious things from the keynote. One was definitely that the iPhone is really cool.

The second point is, Steve Job's is really one uber marketing man. He could sell u a kitchen sink and still make it look like its the most revolutionary and amazing thing to ever happen since ur mother started to cook. Although it helps to have wonderfully designed products, but the guy really can sell stuff. You would suck each and everyword he says. Just look at the keynote address for yourself.

They should show his presentations in Marketing class. Definite.

Major Overhaul...

2007-01-10T16:26:00.000+08:00

It's been quite some time, and I've been procastinating (is that how its spelt??) for quite some time now to embark on an overhaul of my page. Well its nothing new, just a change of colour, fonts and templates.

Well, maybe this time I'll change the contents a bit, maybe a bit darker, harsher, more critique. Of course i know that some opinions, like mine may not matter but, hey its just like us normally chating, crapping about life, situations and criticising people while having a drink at 'siang malam' or any road site stall. Its just doing it on cyberspace.

It've been wanting to have a place to air my greivances for some time now. Been talking to Weihan to create a new place but guess we both have been busy or for some reason it didnt take off. So I decided why make a new one when I can use this. Even better I'll use my real name instead of a pseydonym or something like that.

Well maybe I'll be able to finish the overhaul and come up with the first post this weekend. In the mean time I have to update the links list. Found a lot of interesting sites these past few days.

Moon Cake Festival at Carpenter Street

2006-10-31T05:51:00.000+08:00

These are pictures taken at Carpenter Street, Kuching during the eve of the Moon Cake Festival. All the pictures were taken with my handphone, hence the low quality (wish i had a DSLR... keep that in mind for my birthday present) and were resized to fit the blog. If not it would have taken some serious download times. If you want the full size pics, just drop me a message.

There was a small orchestra playing some classical chinese music there, and it was nice. At one time they even played the "Wong Fei Hung" theme =). It made me reminiscence of the days we used to play the song for the Scouts Band in school. But of course we played with bagpipes and side drums and bugles instead.

Alrite, if you guys (or girls.. ahem) out there wanna know about the girl above, it will cost you RM 10 for each question. Hahaha.. Just joking. You know i'm a sucker for cashing in on stuff like this. Actually she's a friend, who's a year junior and her name is Chelsea. This was a candid pic. But if u still wanna know more about her, remember,
RM 10 hahaha.

Above, Patricia, a coursemate of mine. By the way boys, she's taken, got a bf adi in kl, so go back to bed.

A shot of the street. Notice the silly girl trying to dance in the lower left of the pic?

Another shot of the street...

And another....

And another...

The archway. Entrance to Carpenter Street.

I failed miserably.. HAHAHA

2006-10-21T07:24:00.000+08:00

It was the last class of the semester before the study breaks. Coincidentally, today's class was also the type of subject that I am poorest at and least interested in. ANyway, I did not collect my mid-term exam paper last week when everone else got it from the lecturer, so I collected it this week. And, to cut a long story short, I lived up to my own expectations :). I failed the paper miserably ahahha!!!
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Okay I understand some of you may be having question marks all over your heads or a crow just flew over the screen, but before you start calling me crazy or anything, let me tell you that i really expected myself to fail. I got 8 points out of a possible 30 hahahaha!!!. I honestly smiled and laughed my way out of the class. Well, why did I act like that you may ask??
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To be honest, in hindsight, I am feeling scared because even if i add up my assignment and presentation marks, its very clear that with my carry marks, I have yet to pass. I'm seriously scared that I would fail. But on the other hand, I smiled and was walking with a bit of a skip in my steps because... in the end I can fail. I proved those that did not believe that I can fail wrong, and I showed that my luck does run out. I've always said that I'm just normal and I am. Though it's scary that I have yet to pass the exam. Imagine, i've got only 8 out of a possible 30 marks for my mid-term, there's no guarantee that wont happen again in the finals.
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IF THAT HAPPENS IT MEANS I HAVE TO EXTEND MY STUDIES FOR A SEMESTER! ahhhhh!!!.... thats SCARY!!
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But yet, in the end, I'm still smiling =)

Just a teaser.. nothing special..

2006-09-30T13:30:00.000+08:00

Well its been quite some time since i've posted anything. There are 2 reasons for that. ONe is the normal writer's block where i ran out of interesting things in life to write about, well you can't blame me for lacking an adventurous side. I don't have the financial means to pursue such a life you know. Besides, its kinda nice sometimes to just relax and let life pass by. Secondly, i've been busy with my final year thesis. Well, actually, the reason i'm so busy with it is because the deadline is near and i've been slacking off more than i've ever been since i came into university. Yea yea.. i'm to blame for it.

Well, today i'm gonna post something that is very very uninteresting to all of you. Its the list of animes that I would like to watch. I would not list out the animes that I would like to own because the number of titles for that would be infinite. Yea i know i know, not many people can understand my obsession with anime and even more would not understand the choices of animes that i hold in high regard or i'm interested in. To me anime is not just entertainment or for kids. Anime is for me a form of art that is equal to films and books. Hence, that is why i feel agitated most of the time when i hear someone saying that they are 'cartoons'. To me, the term 'cartoons' are degrading to anime. Maybe i'll make a post to decribe the diffences in 'cartoons' and 'anime' by using examples from my little experiences of watching both 'cartoons' and 'anime'. Well, to make it very damn simple, 'cartoons' are mindless animated shows made by US production companies. 'Animes' are an art form depicting a story.

Well, yes, i agree that not all 'cartoons' produced in the US are mindless, but i dont consider them cartoons. I consider them animation, and the last US production of an animation that i deem worth watching ( excluding 3D animation, which are not 'cartoons' too) are the Matrix animation series, and before that 'The Lion King' which are both years apart. SOme of you may ask, wuts the difference between 'The Lion King' and lets say, "Cow and Chicken". Well there are obvious differences and i'll cover it sometime in the future.

Alrite, back to my original intent today. I actually managed to watch Shin Seiki Evangelion ( english translation: Neon Genesis Evangelion) and the End of Evangelion movie a few weeks back after waiting and searching in vain for numerous years. Well, I asked my friend to download the thing because i assured him it was damn worth it. To me it was superbly fucking damn worth it but... unfortunately my friend chastised the show in the end because i guess it wasn't suited to his taste. But wat the heck! I dont care because i loved it. Evangelion is the kind of anime that has the classic you either love/hate thing i guess. You either love it or you dont understand the end and you end up hating it. I of course loved it and its my Third most favourite anime in my list. Unfortunately Evangelion is just one in a long line of animes that I would want to watch.. So.. i'll list out some of the ones that I hope to watch in the near future, though they are arranged in no particular order and the list is by no means exhaustive.

Super Dimensional Fortress Macross (Yea I saw it when i was a kid, but i wanna watch it again!)
Rurouni Kenshin - Reminiscence (DO NOT REFER TO IT AS Samurai X!!!)
Haibane Renmei
Full Moon wo Sagashite
Fruits Basket
Furi Kuri (or alternatively FLCL)
Kumo no Mukou Yakusoku no Basho (Place Promised in Our Early Days) first priority!!
Rebuild of Evangelion (NOt yet released, haha. Basically an Evangelion Remake)
Trigun
RaXephon
Vision of Escaflowne

Well the above is not much, because most of the animes that i wanna watch i've been able to watch them for the past 2 years!! HAHAHAHAHAH ... so its trimmed down a lot. But if your talking about the ones i would like to COLLECT!! wooo hooo.. its never ending..

Part 2 of Rantings and Answers

2006-09-19T06:42:00.000+08:00

2) "what kind of girl i would create to be with me if i ever had the chance"?? wwuuuuuTTT???!!!

A Few days ago, I was talking to a girl on MSN. And she asked me.. what kind of girls do i like actually. OKay.. before I continue on, lets do a flash back and see how I met this girl. The parts coloured and in italic are the flashback parts

During my practical period in KL , a close friend of mine Girl M, introduced me to her best friend Girl A, with the intent of helping me to find someone haha. Well this finding someone thing i'll leave it for another day and another time to talk about k?. Back to the flashback - I met Girl A the first time at KLCC Kinokuniya when the three of us went out. She was really pretty.. Real nice girl.. After the first 2 times I instinctively knew that she was a good girl.

But somehow, I noticed that she wasnt the girl I was looking for. So I told my friend Girl M, intro her to another one of our friend la.. cos somehow i think they would both make a nice couple =).

-Flashback ended-

Okay FINE! I know that wasnt much of a flashback, was just trying to make things interesting =P. So i had a chat on MSN with girl A and she asked me wut kind of girl that I was looking for.

Then.. after thinking a while I told her.. that i was lookin for a girl who is (in no particular order or priority)

--- Quick-Witted --- Fast at catching things -- Intelligent (I dont mean grades, i mean naturally intelligent type) ----comfortable speaking either Hokkien/Cantonese + English --- outgoing, though not too much---feisty (yea i know, its crazy rite?) ---- mature when it matters-----understanding-- can rationalize but can let go and go crazy too --- thrifty----humble---- and most importantly KIND and NOT EVIL.

Girl A then asked me, did Girl M knew about all that criteria before she introduced me to her?.. Cos she said she isnt someone like that. Well... I dont know... But i'm not here to talk about that today.

Wut i actually want to talk about, are the criterias. HEHE.. a lof of people, after i told them of the criterias would say that i'm crazy and that i'm too picky myself. Sigh.. I have to agree to a certain extent that I am..

ANd I perfectly know and realize that I DON'T HAVE SUCH QUALIFICATIONS TO BE SO PICKY!.. but you cant blame a guy for seeing too far into the future rite?? sigh.... maybe thats something bad about me when setting these criterias. I set too far into the future. But what i want to clarify is gonna be explained below.

I told Girl A, that the criterias are just things written on paper or spouted out by my mouth. I wont follow those things strictly. Its impossible to find someone who fits that bill -(and even if I do, 9999 out of 10000 that girl will never like a guy like me). Right?? of course its right!

I'm just looking for someone who I could feel that 5 or 6 years ahead, I would still want to be with her and could still share a lot of things with her. The criterias dont mean fucking shit.. except for the Kind and NOT Evil part haha =). Which sane guy would want an evil and black hearted girl rite?

My friend once told me, "Dont think so much!.. Kau first then onli slow slow cook the feeling" ... Well, i really wish that I could hahah!... even if i could really brave myself to "court" the girl, I would definitely not be able to overcome the slow slow cook part. LOL.

Then.... one day I was watching Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Which I saw one of the characters in it, and she reminded me of the very girl that would suit my description. The name of the characer was Sohryu Asuka Langley

Well... She fit most of the first part of the description. Feisty, intelligent, quick-witted, fast at catching things. But she lacked the end parts of humble, kind, mature, etc. HAHAHA. but the fight in her is wut attracts me.

I think in my life, i've met quite a few people with the remaining characteristics that Asuka didnt have. But out of the many, only one made a special impression. She was the kind of girl that deep down i was looking for i guess. The moment i knew her was the moment that i knew wat kind of girl i was looking for, and wat virtues and values that really mattered to me. But thats over now haha..... to clear the air i'm still alone and i didnt really go after the girl. Impossible i guess. If you wanna know why i dont go after girls, head HERE
for an old post and scroll down to The Reason For Not Going......(Tuesday, June 14 2005 entry)

Well... if you've read till here, you may think that i'm writing stupid and silly stuff. And I agree with you fully =) gahahaha.

If i could create one... it would be a combination of Asuka and that girl. but... The last word is... I dont care about the criterias that i say i look for.. its all bullshit... IF the person comes along.. then she comes along =). It doesnt matter what her character is as long as she's a good person and i like her. And thats a fact!

What a silly post this is rite?? the confessionals of a lonely boy hahaha. Hope you readers had fun. hehe

Rantings and answers. Part 1

2006-09-19T04:16:00.000+08:00

The clock on my computer is 5.42 am. Nope, it's not set to U.S Eastern Time. The digital clock is working perfectly.

I'm still sitting in front of my computer and still awake with a cup of coffee and some pastry - definitely not fresh - that I bought from 7 Eleven a while ago.

It has been like that since 2 weeks ago. "What the fuck are you doing?" you may ask. =) I'm asking that question to myself too. It seems that I just cant stop looking for things to read - and unfortunately I dont consider my academic books or journals as reading material- hence, for the past week or so I've been spending the bulk of my time watching anime, reading tons of things on Wikipedia and downloading Neon Genesis Evangelion fan-fictions to read.

I just finished around 70% of what I should prepare for my group presentation this Wednesday, which is just 24 hours away. And I have tons of other stuff to do.. sigh.

1) I have 2 chapters of my Final Year Thesis to finish in a fucking short 96 hours, which I dont have much of fucking idea how to.

2) I promised to help a friend do a first time grammar check on his Final Year Thesis, which I hope I can help with in the limited time frame.

3) I need to finish up some reports to hand up this Friday which is long overdue due to certain circumstances which, I admit, I have been part of the reason and I hope the lecturer doesnt kill me.

4) I need to prepare for the presentation this Wednesday, which is on a fucking morning. I dont know about you guys but most of the time I just hate waking up on mornings.

Sigh.. and I'm having a writer's block for this blog =)

Well.. this time i'll try to write something. As usual this is gonna be boring, cos it's about a boring guy ranting and grumbling. SO BEWARE AND DONT SCROLL DOWN IF U GET BORED EASILY.

1) Being ... Humble...

Ya know, not to say that I'm perasan or wut but... I've been praised and commented a few times by people that I'm humble. Hmm... was talking to a friend (if ur reading, u know who it would be =). Hint: pretty earings - they suit you very well and u look good wearing that outfit.. dont get angry ya? You know me, i'm an Idiot.) outside another friend's house last nite.

She commented on something, i forgot wat it is, that I'm just being humble..She isnt the first one to say that mind you, a few have said it before. Well.. i then explained to her that i'm not actually Maybe its just that I dont have anything to boast about. I'm not an angel or a gentleman entirely.

If i had the looks of another friend and the brains of another one of my friends here, maybe I would be boastful ya know. But i dont have both of it, so maybe that is why i cant boast =).Buy it? or dont buy it?.... Some of you may remember the ME in f1,2 and 3. I was a pretty big boaster at that time wasnt I? Haha.

But seriously.. in the end, if I ever start to boast about myself. PLEASE TAKE A FUCKING BASEBALL BAT AND BASH ME OVER MY FUCKING HEAD WITH IT!! AND THEN SHOVE IT UP MY ASS!!! I AIN'T NEVER WANT ME TO EVER BE BOASTFUL EVER AGAIN!. I HATE IT!!!!

And most important of all... I dont find that there is anything in this world that is worthy to be boasted about. IF you think your handsome, there are thousands who may be more handsome that you are, If your pretty, there maybe thousands who are prettier than you are. If you are smart, there maybe thousands who are smarter than you are. If your humble, there are millions more who are more humble than you are. If your rich, unless you are Bill Gates, you still arent the richest person in the world, and you may wake up a poor man next week. If you have a pretty gf/wife, its for you to take care and pamper her and love her, not show her to the world like a medal. The world is filled with people that are better than I am, and thats what keeps my feet to the ground.

TO all the people who ever praised me, mighty thanks to all of your. Really sincerely =) though i always feel i dont deserve it. But thanks for seeing in me something that i cant see and still refuse to see. May God bless you all!!

Holiday coming to an end....

2006-09-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

Well.. a week of holiday has come to an end at last.

It has been a memorable week from start till finish. Things were mended, then broken again. Money was received, gambled and lost. Things just went full circle, some became a bit better some worse-off.

Oh well, it's just life =). Thats the way i guess, things come full-circle. Maybe one of the reason is because I believe that the the world doesnt owe us anything, its us who owes the world something.

Well, the one of the most ironic things to remember about this holiday, is sad songs. =). Sad, lonely songs. Had a few friends to share and embrace those songs for the past week..

Well just a short mumble today. Nothing much to write about. Maybe in the next few days something nice will come about and i'll write about it.

In anycase, in case anyone of you want me to write about something in secondary school, you can just leave a comment and i'll try to come out with something funny of it =).

Bonjour...

I'm Just Me.. and i hate hurting people

2006-09-01T13:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night i got burnt by fire. And it hurt really, but i guess i'll just have to live with it till the fire forgets it and go away. But the problem was not about me getting burned. I got no problem with getting burned.

The thing that i care about is hurting or annoying or making someone i care about angry. I hate that feeling. Especially if its to someone important to me. That hurt the most to me.

I dont care what most people think about me, how they perceive me i just dont give a damn. But i care a lot about how people important to me perceive me. And i care even more about how i treated them, whether i made them happy, or angry or sad.

I feel happy when they are happy and i'm not when they are not. And it hurts especially when they are not happy or angry because of me.

It's Just Me.

Its turning out to be a gloomy day after all.......

Wonderful isnt it? things can happen, and things cant happen...

2006-08-31T05:30:00.000+08:00

Well, today was kinda ok. I lost a lot of money for the past 2 days at the table. It was painful but somehow i think the person up there gives u back something for your money's worth or something more.

I got something worth more than anything I lost. It was a friendship. Haha.. the friendship stayed and I hope it would stay and improve. Had a talk with that person today,.. a very long talk. I think it was more of me bothering that person. =) I knew that person was tired and sleepy and annoyed at me but the annoying person in me kept just sitting there. ( Sorry ya if your reading this ).. Just joking, i actually enjoyed being in that person's company. SOrry, i'm a sucker, i know.

Well, i did ask that person a few things about what that person thought of me.. that person said quite nice things about me really. (Really thanks, it was sweet honestly). Its always refreshing to hear good things about yourself, who doesnt? =).

Anyone who's had a long talk with me would know one trait about me. I always contradict myself on things =) hehehe.... correct? I would say i believe in one thing, yet the next time you see me or talk to me i would say the other thing hahaha. Talking to me is like playing a gamble i guess, you have to analyze and place ur bets on where i really stand and whats really in the deck of cards. Some may say i'm a hypocrite, maybe i am, maybe i'm not. Its a matter of perception and whether i really care about that perception is really something else. Like one of my friend said "If we live on people's perception, life is gonna be difficult". Thats one thing i believe in. Which ironically i told that same person that a lot of things has to do with ppl's perception of you, which in turn i think is true in real life most of the time, but ironically i dont subscribe to and never care about.

Its just that the big question is "Do I Really Care?". I think that determines the relevance of people's perception right? .. It determines a lot of things too, not just that. If you know me even half, you will know where i stand.

I asked that person, "how much do u trust me?". =). To which that person replied, "You're smart enough to know the answer, and you know the answer". Sigh, I have this problem which is people think i'm smart enough to answer, which i dont. But well, hey, i think i'll gamble with this one and i like gambling by the way. I'll take a guess on where I stand after tonite =).

Its been a good night, but i have only 6 more months. Time is so short and limited when you need it. But i'll wait for time, cos waiting is what i do best =).

Also i have one last prayer to make, PLEASE GOD LET ME STRIKE SPORTS TOTO!! I finally thought of wut to buy now. HAHAHA.

I'm back to bloggin i guess

2006-08-29T03:39:00.000+08:00

Well.. i'm back to blogging i guess after a hiatus of a few months... =)
maybe i'll start regular blogging like wat weihan tells me to.

Hmm.. just a short update for u guys. Wut i have been up to these 2 months i've been back at kuching

1. Bought a new handphone.

Those of you who still remember, i once asked about wut i should get. Well, in the end i thought "what the heck, every semester i've not been able to keep any of my PTPTN money, so why dont i just fucking get something"

So here i have a new handphone the first day i got the loan money - the same day i had a big bashing from my mother cos i spent half of it on one small thing. The pain.

And sometimes i kinda regret it cos i dont come from a well to do family. THose of u who know me would know my status =)

BUt whenever i listen to songs using the phone, i feel that i made a good deal and the regret goes away. =)There was once i told my friend i dont regret buyin it. Then he said to me "Of course, when we buy phones like wat we have (he has a good phone too), we wont regret it cos of wat it can do". To which i replied, "I agree, it sure is wonderful to keep you company when ur lonely"... he looked at me with three black stripes on his forehead of course, because he was referring to the functions, not the value it brings to u when ur lonely - like how i saw it haha. =)

Since i was a kid i've always wanted a Sony Walkman, not an aiwa, not a sanyo or anything like that. It was an original SONY Walkman! then i wanted a SONY Discman instead. But i never got that because other things came in place of it, a pc, a playstation. But nonetheless the urge was still there. Finally when i'm 22 i got one, though its painful now cos i gotta eat bread kekeke.

Well, silly me, i havent introduced my phone.

It's a Sony Ericsson W810i Walkman Phone, my new wife which is just a month old.

2. Had another stupid classic silly act

Well as with me, i've always had one silly act every 3 years. Shooting myself when i know i'm gonna shoot at myself with the gun. This is the third time.

I shot myself a few weeks ago. SOmething nice came back out of it for 2 weeks. But then after that one day i woke up and told myself its not to be and to fuck off again. =) Well.. i'm sufficiently experienced to deal with it this time cos its not much different from the second time. The second time was way more times worse than this one so its ok =)

I dont wanna lose a friend, so i always choose the middle way out =). Typical me. Anyway. I still will keep my promises and vows to that person =). Told ya i wont break it so i wont ok? =) But you wont be reading this i know.

3. Well FInally i will be having another blog on friendster which i will update simultaniously with this one.

Why am i having 2? i dunno .. just for the fun of it i guess. Most who read the Blogger.com one (this one) are you all from tpg. So i guess the friendster one will be accessible to my friends in UNIMAS. Its gonna be up with a post in a few hours i guess

Stay tuned to here and friendster

First wall climbing experience

2006-06-15T10:23:00.000+08:00

I went for my first try of wall climbing at the Camp 5, 1 Utama wall climbing gym last Sunday. It set me back by RM116! because i took the basic wall course straight away. It was damn fun haha, especially when ur up there holding on to the wall..

But i found out one thing about me, that is how unfit i've become hahaha.. was so weak. Really have to buck up if i ever wanna climb like those guys who were there. By the way for u girls who are interested to go - the instructors and marshalls there are good looking and cute guys, for the guys - there's a lot of pretty girls in tank tops who go to climb there every sat and sunday.. so more incentive for u guys if u all are going hahah!!

Go try it out. its worth it. I went to check out the equipment shop they have there and boy, those equipment are really expensive. I guess i can only go seriously into it in another year after i graduate and start working - that's IF i come out to work in KL. Cant do much of it cos i'll be going back to sarawak in a few weeks. Though I hope to go again next weekend, for one more experience before i head back ..

Anyone who is interested to go on the 23rd o 24th can call me =)

my lecturers... after 2 years

2006-04-11T21:51:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a while since i blogged .. as you all know. Well now i'm back temporarily.

As long as i have started this blog, i have - surprisingly, or not? - never talked about my University. Wow.. has time gone by fast. While i was having a drink with one of my coursemates a few days ago, i looked back for a while in time and saw that it was 2 years already (almost) since i stepped into the front gate of University Malaysia Sarawak with my oversized luggage bag and 2 backpacks. After this semester i'll have only one more year before i graduate (hopefully) and decide if i want to continue on with my M.Sc. or to go out and toil in the corporate world. Well thats for later.. Today i'm gonna talk about the academic staff at my faculty, the Faculty of Economics and Business for a little bit of fun

DUring the drink i was having with my friend, we talked about our faculty and our lecturers. And we both have the same opinion about it - we like it a lot. Regarding public universities or institutions of higher learning, i'm sure a lot of you have heard allegations of unfair treatment of students, biased marking and so on from students. Some of the friends of my coursemates have even asked her if this happened at our faculty. Well.. our answer to that question is .. No.. not any that we have experienced so far. Bear in mind that i'm talking about my programme (not other programmes).

After studying here and getting to know those that have lectured me, my friend and i found them to be fair people who judge you by your work and performance. If you want some proof, you can just refer to the dean's list of our faculty. Maybe its not strong but i feel it does give some sort of support.Almost all the lecturers have been very helpful, fair and friendly. They dont pick on you for ur name or where you come from or how you look. And in some way i've been very happy that i came to this faculty even though its so far away from home. Of course there will always be bad people wherever, but they have been the small majority here and i've had the good luck of not having them lecturing my courses so far.

I dont know bout the allegations about other places in public universities, how true they are or if they really happened or not, but i can say that in my faculty those allegations dont happen in the economics programme. Here, i wanna say a big big thanks to all my lecturers so far for making me like economics and helping someone who doesnt know hoot about economics in the first place to understand it. And best of all for being great fair people who are interested and dedicated in passing on knowledge to anyone who wishes for it, whoever you are.

At the moment i'm still contemplating my postgraduate plan. If this place wasnt 'so close yet so far' from home, i would have stayed here to continue my postgraduate degree. Well, if i do continue my postgraduate, it would be at the UPM with the former colleagues or 'sifu' of my current lecturers. I forgot to mention that half of the academic staff in the economics programme of my faculty are alumnis of UPM hahaha.

Me doing a postgraduate degree in economics?? hmmm.... seemed so far away from what i wanted to be in the first place. But on hindsight, if you let me choose all over again now, i would without a doubt choose economics.

2006-03-03T23:41:00.000+08:00

Nasi sudah menjadi bubur. Mine is worse. My bubur has menjadi kerak. actually I burnt my porridge. This is not the first time. I always forget that I am cooking instant porridge. And I end up burning it. The pot is as black as ever. Man, this is not a good sign at all.

New past time .. New entertainment

2006-01-13T20:18:00.000+08:00

For the past few days, I've found a new type of entertainment to keep me company. Despite taking 7 subjects and filling my credit hours limit to the max.. i still manage to squeeze out time for my entertainment sessions yet again - I hope, since this is just the beginning of the new semester hahaha!...

Well.. my new past time is the good-ol traditional fav chinese table game - Mahjong. Yes... Yess.. my friends bought a set of mahjong recently and I took the liberty of joining them for games to pass time. Last nite we even pulled an all nighter ahaha.. nite till morning, since we didnt have any classes today (friday).

Well maybe i'm gonna go there again later tonite =) LOL!... Hope my parents dont find out. But its not gambling though hahaha.. Hey this is wat co-curricular activities in Uni's should be like in the first place!!!

2006-01-11T14:49:00.000+08:00

Yo everyone! Welcome to 2006! There has been a flurry of activities and events happening lately and I am emotionally exhausted. It's just the start of 2006 and I feel so drained. WTF? I thought of a nice stroll into the new year, but apparently my final year doesn't permit. This is so pathetic.

Well, cheers to everyone.

Dilemma.. Dilemma... needing Opinions

2006-01-08T22:01:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting here ar 10 pm in the night.. feeding mosquitos at the campus canteen and I'm stuck waiting for my download to finish - which is one and a half hours away from finishing, if lady luck smiles on me - and i'm thinking, what should i do. And I was sitting here wondering about something and I'm stumped, so I decided to post this and ask for enlightenment from you guys.

You see, the main problem - or dilemma - here is that I do not know how I should spend ( or not spend ) the money that I will be receiving in a week or 2 from now ( an account receivable, my accountant-to-be frens ^_^ ). From the account receivable, of course i'm keeping the bulk of it to finance my studies and for emergencies and also my travel/purchasing plans. But I decided that i wanted to take some money out to spend for something - limit is RM 500. I have a few options, but the problem is, as most of u have figured out by now, is that i dont know which one to choose. I need your help and opinions guys/girls. I'll list out the options and reasons below. HELP ME!!

Option 1: New Soundcard and Spanking new Speaker system.

Argument for spending:

Well you all know I love music. Listening to MP3's and such... so for a few semesters now i've been suffering with a cheapskate 2 piece USB powered speaker that sucks in sound and also relying on integrated sound. So i felt like having a good sound system with good sound output to ease my lust for music.

Option 2: A new handphone (budget one)

Argument for spending:

Those of you who have witnessed the tormented soul of my handphone know what I'm talking about dont you guys/girls. The phone is only 2 years old but the screen is cracked in 3 places, the headphone jack is partially destroyed, the body is lacking some pieces of plastic (by the way girls, I'm still using the same old casing from 2 years ago - see how loyal i am ^_^). And the keypad is dying on me. Sometimes is so difficult to sms that I want to just press the call button and call no matter how expensive it is. And reception is getting poorer by the week. I have a feeling its gonna die soon.

So I was just thinking about changing to a new phone. Not an expensive one with 2-megapixel camera that has expansion slots and can play MP3s for hours and is orange in color. NOpe. I'm just looking for a cheap one that i could afford. Camera or no camera doesnt matter but its at least gotta have a colour screen. Thats all I ask. So would this be a better idea?

Option 3: Ipod ( although have to top-up with ang pow money and table gambling wins during CNY - if i win la )

Argument for spending:

Dont think i need to explain it rite? the option speaks for itself

Option 4: Keep it for my trip/emergency.

Nuff said. You guys should know wat that means

Okays so... help me guys.. or some other comment would be wonderful too. Any suggestions?? sigh.. dilemma.

New post .. new year.. new sem.. wats happened so FAr??

2006-01-05T23:05:00.000+08:00

Well my new post in 2006.. HAH! most of u would think i would stop blogging for 3 months or more since i'm back in Uni now! didnt ya!!! no i didnt stop!!! well at least for now .. =)

Well 2005 ended for 5 days already, its already another year thats ended so fast and i'm 21 now. I can do everything that is permitted by law legally now. Can drink legally, can gamble legally ( in Genting), can get married legally, can have kids legally, one nite stands, 2 nite stands, buy Toto, Magnum 4D, 3D+1D watever u name it.

But sometimes I miss the innocence of doing illegal things when ur under-21 or under-18. Do you guys feel that way too? The innocence of saying " I donno mar!" or.. " I never thought of that mar" or more blatantly "I'm still underage mar!" cant be used any longer. sighh... Well 2005 was a year of 2 halves for me .. first half was wonderful.. second half was excruciating to the point that branding it as a "nightmare" was an understatement. I think only one person in the whole world know why its more than a nightmare for me (he/she is not a relative)

Well, how long has it been since i started this blog?? 6 months?? i dont think so but its nearing there. As you've all noticed in this blog, most of it is just crap. Very little personal things and very little intimate things that I share here. Mostly just my 1 cent of crap thats not worth mentionin. Once somemeone commended me that I'm brave enough to write things (personal, thoughts, etc) out for people to see. But I dont think so, nothing much that I write here is personal significantly. Maybe some thoughts =).

I think of this blog as something like an exended outing with my frens ( you guys who come & read my blog) - I believe those who read my postings are my frens that I know from tpg. And I dont know, but I think the way I blog here is a reflection of wat I do in real life when I go out with you guys - a lot of nonsense, a lot of crap, a lot of lame-assed jokes. ISnt it so?? haha.

If there is a significant number of people in the outing that i'm not familiar with, I'll be so quiet u think i'm foo weng =) ( sorry for the pun foo weng if ur reading this hehe ....I'm so bad.. but i'm sure you are very social now rite? people change through time. everybody does ). I'm sure you guys experienced seeing me quiet once in a while before. Maybe now u know why? maybe those were the times when i was unfamiliar with u guys.. But seriously, i do that(quiet) only when i go out or i'm in the company of ppl that i dont know and i'm not comfortable with. Once i'm comfortable with you guys like nowadays... i'm back to my crappy-lame-joke-nonsensical-self.

So are you guys lucky or Wut?? hahahaha!

Well... i have trouble keeping cool really. I mean cool as in the cucumber type where u can go through a whole outing just looking like ur the coolest piece of ice around. I've never been able to do that.. never comfortable. And i dont think i look cool like that. I would look so lame! hahaaahaha. Maybe too many years of Chow Sing Chi films shaped my character. =).

Well ... i'm still lucky to find friends in Uni who can take my nonsensical jokes still =). But none are like you guys, I cant tell them like when i tell them in front of you all. It feels so comfortable in front of you guys hahah! maybe its not comfortable for you, but it is for me! .. all the better for me! hahahahah but sad thing is u guys have to suffer =P.

Well here is to all of you Frens! to the ones who was with me for 15 years. to the ones who i was close till i'm so fren with the grandma. to the ones who i'm so comfortable with for all the years of my life and to the ones i've loved and cried for and to the ones who i've joked with nonsensically and lamely for so many years. THANKS>

FRIENDS ( Peng You )

These few years, one person; the wind has passed, rain has gone
There have been tears, there have been errors; still remember what's insisted upon
After loving truly, will we understand; it will be lonely, will return
Finally have a dream, finally have you, in my heart

Friends, together for life; those days will never have again
A sentence, a lifetime, a life of love, a cup of wine
Friends, never lonely again; a word of "friend" and you'll understand
There's still pain, there's still hurt, still we'll go, still there's me

A sentence, a lifetime, a life of love, a cup of wine

Emil Chau - Peng You

Types of Attack (Courtships) a jokes look ^^

2005-12-19T20:19:00.000+08:00

Well.. since I don't know why it seems like a courtship season now. Maybe seeing people doing courtship makes you wonder about yourself sometimes. HAHAHA... most probably its just seeing frens all over having partners or striving to get one adi. I guess being the odd one out isn't so bad after all. You get to be a free observer anytime you want!

Well the reason of this post is... erm... I suddenly thought of doing a humour look on the types of courtships( or modes of attack..) that a guy(or a girl) does to earn the love of the opposite sex. Bear in mind this is just a joke okay?? hehe .. for the amusement of those who has the same humour as I do. Hope it doesn't offend anybody though.

I got this idea when I reminiscenced a conversation I had with one of my friends about how he courted his gf.. So..

DISCLAIMER: If you cant take it as a joke.. don't read further!! and I am in no way an expert on this kind of stuff. As most of you who know me, knows my experience on relationships is VERY VERY LIMITED and was a long time ago. Heck its been almost few years since I was in a real relationship and I've only had one. And I don't think I'll be able to do anything like that either. So this is just for fun.

There are a lof of types of courtships we can classify. Those that I will present below are just what I could think of:

Type 1: Strategic Attack Tactics

This type of courtship is a well-planned step-by-step approach by the guy/girl to court his or her intended target. Outings and words are planned in advance with contingency plans for each and every moment.

Most used by individuals who are experienced in the art of courtship and are able to predict moves and counter-moves by the target and also competitors.

As of the moment I have not encountered any friends who are using this highly planned approach.

Type 2: Counter Attack Tactics

This type is actually where the person expresses his or her feelings first before the opposite sex does it ( of course feelings of acceptance la. rejection doesnt count).

The person would feel that the opposite likes him/her and therefore will ask for his/her hand first! hahahah

As of the moment, I only know of one who used this tactic before. Can't disclose it here =)

Type 3: Shock & Awe!!!

This is the most common type I've heard of! The person applies shock tactics to woo the his/her intended target.

This is done by .

(1) straight away in-ur-face expression of feelings. Hoping by some chance he/she is gonna strike it right and get the girl/guy.

(2) Arrange for a meeting or an outing alone with the intended target
and applying (1)

(3) Through electronic means (MSN, ICQ, IRC, phone) or traditional pen and paper and applying (1)

Type 4 : HOSTILE TAKEOVER!!!

Wow.. this one is dangerous. Do it at the risk of physical harm. As the name suggests, this involves courting a target who already has partner. In our layman terms, its called "using a spanner/crowbar and prying it off the cold hard fingers of another person"

This.. I leave it for you to decide the morality of it. I abstain from commenting.

Type 5: Friendly Merger

This one involves both parties wanting it to happen. In cantonese we use 3 words to refer to it. "Fai, Leng, Cheng" ( Fast, Pretty, Good).

No fuss, No waste of funds, No hassle.

But of course... who cares as you love each other rite??? heck .. I DONT MIND!

haha.. well only 5 types for now. So.. which one was yours or.. are yours.. or you prefer?? mind to share at the comment page?? don't be shy ler hahahahah!!! Maybe if you guys have any ideas to add to the above 5 feel free to suggest!

Lamp-post

2005-12-17T16:23:00.000+08:00

Speaking about being single when everyone around you isn't could be an irritating scene. Just when you want to hang out with your close friends, they are either too busy dating, or that they would have to bring their other half along. It sorts of kills joy. You have to watch what you say, be on best behaviour, etc. Basically, you just cannot be yourself 100%.

Frankly, when you decide to have a heart to heart talk with 'outsiders' lurking around, it isn't fun anymore. It's no more the same now because the group has expanded. Sometimes, you may end up as the towering, brightest lamp-post. It's worse when your friends start to make out or get all too lovey-dovey with their partner. Heck, you don't want to witness all their vows of love. And you are not interested in soft porn either. Sometimes, it makes you sick being the tiang lampu.

But, seriously, you have to accept the fact that your friends will not wait for you. There are other people whom they are committed to now and it's not about you anymore. But could those lovebirds spare some time for their friends because life ain't about both of you either?!